At my new job, I got to take the Strength Finders 2.0 test. One of my top five strengths is self-assurance.
Now from the outside looking in, that would make total sense. That’s something I hear a lot from people, “You are so confident in yourself.”
But like any other girl or person for that matter, there are things that have taken longer for me to accept about myself than others.
I can spend a good long time on Pinterest and searching through magazines for style, makeup and hair inspirations. Beyonce, Lauren Conrad, Jennifer Lawrence, Demi Lovato, I mean the list goes on. And sometimes I can wear an outfit, makeup look or even my hair, inspired by them, but when it really comes down to it, it’s just an imitation.
One day it hit me. (I think it was shortly after Beyonce debuted her very short hair cut on Instagram.) No matter what, I’m imitating these people and there’s no need for that.
There isn’t anyone with my hair type, my body shape, my eyes, my face. You get the picture.
I am me. Sometimes the light bulbs clicks on and other times I’m hit upside the head with a 2×4. But here’s my point:
The thing that just makes sense is that I’m me. It’s really all I can be. (inspired by the song I Am Me by Willow Smith)
So these famously dressed and pampered celebrities can yes, inspire my clothing choices, how I do my hair and apply my makeup, but I don’t want to hide who I really am. Because I know I’ll never be perfect and if that’s what I’m striving for, I will fail every.single.time.
God created me. ME. To be passionate about music and connecting with people. To love smiling and laughing. To have almost uncontrollable hair that can’t really be tamed because of my bi-racial genetics. To have big brown eyes that resemble my dad. To be stubborn like my mother. To love like Jesus did.
You see what I did there? The majority of the things that are composed of me are way more important than what I wear or how I look.
I have this sheet of paper taped right next to mirror. It’s a list of affirmations that was given to me. These are things that people who I know and love, had given me. And no where on that sheet are things about my hair, how I dress or the makeup I put on my face.
What is does affirm, is my character and who I am on the inside. The things that really matter in life. That connecting through my vulnerability is a good thing.
And I think the longer I am alive and the more interactions I have with people, the more I see how important BEING me is.
So as a 23 year-old this is something old, yet profound. I was inspired to write this post after listening to Willow Smith’s song, I Am Me. It’s a simple song that I had heard many months ago, and then recently it just really struck a chord in me.
I’m me, I’m me, and that’s all I can be
I’m me, I’m me, here’s my vulnerability
I’m free and you can’t stop me
I’m free and that’s all I can be
So I am going to work harder at being me.
Lauren Brooks 