“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.”
90 minutes had gone by and I still hadn’t stopped crying. My mom had called me to talk to me about something and I just let it all out. I had just gotten back from my not-so-little brother’s graduation in Pittsburgh and was completely discouraged.
You know when you have a picture in your head as to how things are going to go….and they don’t go according to that plan? WELCOME TO MY LIFE.
It seems that everything I’ve imagined or planned out, doesn’t work out. My life isn’t black and white like I thought it was so many months ago. Yes, this comes back to me not having a full time job. Yes, you’re probably sick of hearing me blog about this, but just follow me here.
Sometimes I feel stuck. Like I’m a disappointment to my family because of where I am. I’m not going to be a doctor like my brother is planning to be. I just studied communications. Nevertheless, I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished, where God has lead me.
Since November 2012, I’ve been living in grey matter. Huh? I’m in this transition to REAL adulthood, where I have to work every day for 8 hours and pay all my bills (even though my parents are still helping fund certain things, God bless them). It’s hard living in the unknown. Not knowing what I’ll be doing in the next 6, 12 or 18 months.
God continues to teach me patience. I was talking to my friend, Emily last night about where we are.
“I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but apparently God has some more stuff to teach me,” I told her.
“Patience being one, I would assume,” she said.
“I’m not sure why you would think that!” I said sarcastically.
We all have these goals as to how we want our lives to turn out. Sometimes we focus more on the end result than the journey of getting there. I think I’m stuck in the mud of that. I’m where I am for a reason.
My mom is wise and I don’t admit that enough, but she told me a long time ago that the first few jobs I have, aren’t going to be my dream job. I don’t really know what I want to do, and the jobs that I have will show me what I DON’T want to do. And it’s true.
My life is just in its beginning stages. There’s still a lot of life to experience. To enjoy. To learn.
I’ll always have goals and those will ever be changing, but I have to understand that I’m where I am for a reason and while I’m here, I might as well enjoy what I’m doing while I can because I might not have an opportunity like this again.
There’s always a silver lining and you, in the end, choose your happiness.